bridesmaid dress update

Quite a while ago I said my bridesmaids would be getting their dresses made by a seamstress local to Indiana. Well, I actually have an update and I call it: Slopcity!

Before I get into that, I'll just explain the process we've gone through. We contacted a seamstress in the winter and she gave us a slot for March to begin sewing the dresses. My mom helped source fabrics by sending me various swatches of green silk and taffeta. We also consulted patterns that had similar skirt fullness to the designs we chose to figure out the needed yardage. We ended up buying 10 yards of emerald green taffeta, at a price of $5/yard.

A few weeks ago I went to Indiana for my shower, so we stopped in at the seamstress's to see the dresses. Bridesmaid M had already been in for a fitting before, but Bridesmaid T's dress was being made entirely from her provided measurements.

Now I finally understood why dress fittings were so traumatic for many women. My own wedding dress was close to my size, so I never had to deal with a too-big dress that looked shapeless and sad and depressing. The dress I tried on for Bridesmaid T though, who is close to me in size, was all of those things. I could see that it looked like the design we chose, but it was just enormous and baggy, hence, Slopcity. Fortunately she'll be able to come in before the wedding to get it properly fitted.

So I begrudgingly offer a photo of the bridesmaid dresses in a very in-between stage. Bridesmaid M's dress is also too big, as you can see. We departed from the original design a bit to provide wider straps and more boob coverage.

I look so enthused, yes?

confessions of a discount designer shopper

I am all about the discount and these days, it's all about the designer discount.

My retailer of choice is The Outnet. Why? Let me show you the ways:

• Christian Louboutin flats for $170
• Marc by Marc Jacobs blouse for $25
• Valentino jacket for $1
• Paul & Joe jeans for $30

The Outnet is full of win mostly because of their weekend sales and their impeccably edited stock. This is the discount site of Net-a-Porter, so you pretty much know from the get-go that everything is fantastic. But the best thing ever is the weekend sales they run. They're usually thematic, like pastels or jeans or coats, and the discount is deep: extra 45% or 50% off, most of the time.

There are so many wedding-worthy accessories and honeymoon clothes!

Clockwise from left: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5

Sign up for their notifications and you'll never miss a sale. I wish I was being paid by them to say all of this, but unfortunately I'm not.

Do you chase after designer discounts too?

sash wars

I just had my second fitting today, which means it's time for sash wars. Or, which is better, organza or grosgrain?

If I do choose the organza, we'll cut down the width by two or three inches -- so those tails won't be quite as wide.

Which do you prefer?

unveiling the veil

Where veils are concerned, I don't have a clear vision at all. The only veil I've ever worn was my communion veil, which I will admit was pretty exciting as a third grader. Still, having no veil ideas, I gathered up my options.

 dropped veil

At first I was really enamored of the look of dropped veils; they're so romantic. But since I'll be wearing my bangs down, I don't want a smooshed-bang situation caused by a veil laying on my face. Pretty, but no dice.

 

chapel length

Then I ever-so-briefly considered a chapel length veil. It had drama, but more easily contained drama than a cathedral, which is such out of control drama I'd totally fall on my face. Drama. However, because I'm getting married in a garden ceremony and the guest list is pretty small, I was a little worried a chapel veil would be too LOOK AT ME, MARVEL AT MY GRANDEUR.

I have some self-confidence issues pertaining to veils to work through.

Finally, I settled on waltz length. The reason? They're sometimes called ballet veils, which obviously meant I was supposed to buy one.

One thing I'll note is I decided all of this over the internet. I didn't buy my dress from a bridal store, which sort of precludes me from waltzing into one and trying on different veils with my dress. I'm sure they'd let me try on veils sans dress, but I really like the safety of shopping from my desk.

So of course I turned to the internet for purchasing. First of all, googling "wedding veil" nets you surprisingly crappy results. The few online retailers that appeared had such unsavory-looking sites, I nearly gave up there.

A couple of weeks ago, though, I was browsing through wedding links and came across Tigerlilly Jewelry. I knew they made sassy birdcage veils, but I didn't know they made traditional ones too. Their ordering process is pretty nifty and hassle-free. You choose the length, color, edging, and one or two layers. My ivory waltz veil arrived about 1.5 weeks after ordering, at a total of $60 with shipping.

I really like it... but I don't think this is waltz length! It hits right at my butt/fingertips, when I was expecting it to hit at about my knees. I'm perplexed.

What's your ideal veil length? More importantly, is there a consensus on how long a waltz veil should be? :)

the ring that will not be

We know I have a pretty unhealthy obsession with Dior. Well last week, the impossible happened: I mustered up the courage to enter the Dior store in Chevy Chase.

Either I don't know how to operate doors or theirs were locked, because I had to rattle the door for a second before being let in. I thought they weren't going to let people like me in.

I entered mecca. A choir of flouncy-skirt angels sung in my head, "j'adore!" But I quickly told the saleswoman I was there for the fine jewelry. I was on a mission.

Oh my dears, yes, yes, I was. You see, I've been lusting after a particular Dior ring for my wedding band.

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Oui! It's white gold and magical. And rad. 

It also retails for $675.

This particular store only had the all-diamond version, so I tortured myself and tried it on. I loved it, desperately.

 

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Though its sparkly-ness was fantastic, I knew I preferred the simplicity of the white gold version. I was told I could call anytime and the ring in my size would be overnighted. It was that easy.

Well, no it isn't. You see, I'm insured through my fiance's work as a domestic partner, because the health insurance premiums at my job are extremely expensive. We weren't aware, however, that domestic partner benefits are considered taxable income (and another reason DOMA needs to be repealed). Therefore my fiance's tax bill this year is high. Like the price of my precious oui ring high.

We have a lot to be thankful for -- we're not in debt because of the wedding and we'll get by, even with an unexpected and enormous bill. But something has to give somewhere and unfortunately, that would be my ring.

I'm pretty bummed. I have been thinking about this ring for months, but it's still just a ring.

Have any unforeseen circumstances thrown off some of the things you wanted for your wedding? Did you try to make it work anyway?

sash!

My mom visited from Indiana this weekend and we were pretty productive: she bought me some honymoon lingerie from Bloomies, we looked at the wedding ring I wanted at Dior (!!!!), and she also brought me something she had sewn: my organza sash.

Since my dress is living at the seamstress's house, I can't really properly do a comparison, but I want to show it off anyway. Here it is on top of a camisole. So chic.

As you can see, there's enough fabric to make a practical bow and a super-sized bow. There's so much extra fabric, in fact, I can wrap my whole body in organza and still make a huge bow. So it's not quite a finished product.

I'll have to wait for my next fitting to try it on with the dress, but so far I'm encouraged. It just might be the one.

Do you have multiple accessories in the running for your wedding day outfit?

just call me goldishoes

Hi. I'm alive and stuff.

I ordered a bunch of shoes.

The first pair fit awkwardly. The second one didn't at all. And then the last pair...

 

 Perfect. Kitty thinks so too.

free return shipping: the ballad of shoe shopping

With my first fitting in a mere two weeks, it was time to order some shoes. My specifications were:

• black satin, because I'd like to perhaps wear them again
• low heel or a high heel with an ankle strap - my feet fall out of heels otherwise
  
• pretty
• under $150
  

So I was looking for a black satin shoe, which really shouldn't be difficult considering it's BLACK, right? I'm apparently very picky, because it wasn't.

I only found one shoe out of millions at Zappos that I liked.

Martinez Valero "Brit"

 It's black, on sale for $102, has a weird feather poof that I'm apprehensive of, but also has the needed ankle-keeper. Oh wait a second, this shoe is a little familiar..

Of course! It's a Louboutin knock-off. Hooray.

Then I had a bit more luck on Endless.

Pelle Moda "Dynah" 

I ordered this one in black as well. The pink was excruciatingly cute, but unavailable. I know it violates my high heel=ankle strap rule, but I felt I could make an exception for a mule. And let's just admit it, it's also a blatant rip off of a Louboutin heel. I have expensive taste with a small salary, what can I say.

The last shoe I ordered was something a bit more traditional/classic, and god bless it, with a low heel.

Nina "Culver"

I should be receiving all of these early in the week, so expect a mini shoe review then. Hopefully I can stand to wear one all day for dancing. Eek.

bridesmaids revisited

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I've hinted to the bridesmaids dresses a lot, but I've never properly posted on the subject. Here's the recap.

I'm having two bridesmaids for my wedding. One is my childhood best friend, we'll call her M, and the other is a gal also from my hometown and a roommate in college, T. M lives in Indy. T lives in London.

So I have two bridesmaids who live on different continents and have different fashion sensibilities. T is trendy/bohemian and M is more classic all-American. I thought I could make this easy on them by saying "go find a dress you like in a shade of light-ish pink!" Surely I was being progressive and would be completely loved by all.

Apparently finding a light pinkish dress is not so easy. There are many shades of light pink at various stores and some are less appealing than others. Realizing that I'm already being a cruel bride by choosing light pink as their dress color, I should just put the girls out of their misery and choose an option myself.

Ha! It's impossible. A dress under $200 that is flattering and a little fashionable doesn't exist, I think. Or at least in my colors.

After much whimpering and whining, I changed their dress color to a bright alpine green. Hooray. (If you recall, I resisted green at first until I found a suitable shade). Both of my bridesmaids turned out to be thrilled by this color, which makes me very happy.

Now, the dresses are being made. A seamstress in Indiana will charge about 40 per dress, which is cheap. We just need to buy the fabric and she can work from a photo.

Well, the fabric. Last week I stopped in a really amazing fabric store out in the burbs. It had Juicy Couture fabric, for instance! They had some really beautiful silks in a wide range of colors, including my particular green, but get this: 50/yard. Yikes. So I have to find some tissue taffeta on the cheap.

But what, pray tell, are the designs for the girls?

For the boho chic T (and this is the accurate shade of green):

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And for M, the classic, this:

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How did you negotiate a small bridesmaid budget but a big love for fashion?

hair by chanel

I'm not sure the tiara is the most appropriate for a small wedding, but hellooo, hair.

Which is funny, because every time I've seen similar styles in bridal magazines I've gagged a little to myself. Oh, Uncle Karl, the things you do to me.

shoes part i

My first fitting is coming up in January and I was warned to bring all of my accoutrements. I.E. undergarments, veil, headpiece, SHOES.

I don't have all that other stuff either, but I'm mostly freaked about shoes -- which is strange considering my closet.

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I know there's this color trend out there and it's really pretty and cool, but it's not really my bag. And yet, I get the motivation because nice shoes are expensive, especially bridal shoes, so why not spend mucho bucks on shoes you can wear again?

It's not as if I don't love a bright shoe, I do, it's just that with my dress I feel it's not right. It's crying out for a ivory satin sandal, truly. I'm all for having some wackiness in my wedding, but I just want my look to be quasi-elegant.

So I started browsing the usual suspects for shoes: Nordstrom, Zappos, and Macys. I found some great ones on Zappos, but HO MAH GAWD, expensive. The most I've ever spent on a pair of shoes was $150, not a joke here. They were rabbit lined knee-high boots with a smart little buckle, on sale in Chicago. I've worn them every winter for SIX YEARS. Can you see how spending even $174 for a pair of clearance ivory Kate Spades that are magical to look at makes me woozy? They may be lovely, but wear them for six seasons, I think not.

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Unless. Unless unless. Could I dye the shoes afterward?

How are you rationalizing your wedding shoes?

dior, fashion & weddings

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For fun, I wanted to share some excerpts from Dior himself, via The Little Dictionary of Fashion, with some notes from me. It's always interesting to see what fashion geniuses think -- you don't have to agree 100 percent, but it's amusing nonetheless.

Accent
An accent is that little personal touch which makes a dress designed by a couturier your own dress. It is of great importance. With your feeling no one can do it better than you.

This is how I've started to approach wedding planning - yes, much of what I'm doing is unoriginal, but gosh darn it, it will still be mine.

Ball Gown
A ball gown is your dream, and it must make you a dream. And it is wonderful for morale.

Yes, I do indeed feel like a dream in mine.

Detail
I hate detail. I love accents or little touches but they must always be important-- not insignificant. The small detail is very cheap and not elegant at all.

I kind of love this. Wedding blogs love to harp on detail, but it always felt like a lot of little things to get bogged down in-- and so easy to lose sight about what the wedding is really about. Accents, not details!

Elegance
I will only say now that elegance must be the right combination of distinction, naturalness, care, and simplicity. Outside this, believe me, there is no elegance. Only pretension.

Elegance is not dependent on money.

Heck yes money can't buy style. Paris Hilton has been a great teaching moment for that. And Platinum Weddings..

Heels
Too high heels are vulgar and hideous-- and uncomfortable, I should imagine.

I won't call them hideous, but uncomfortable? Word.

Individuality
No elegant woman follows fashion slavishly.

Jewelry
To wear a big diamond on your finger only means that you have a lot of money-- it means nothing in elegance.

Depends on the diamond, for me.

Pink
It is the sweetest of all colors. It is the color of happiness and of femininity.

Duh.

Quality
Quality is essential to elegance. I will always put quality before quantity.

I.E. Prioritize your wedding, spend a lot on what matters to you, the rest doesn't matter. Forget the quantity of wedding "must-haves."

Xtravagance
The contrary of elegance. Elegance must be audacious but it can never be extravagant because extravagance is bad taste.

Zest
There is no beauty that is attractive without zest.

Is elegance the end-all for you?

mind=blown

My dress is meant to have a ribbon sash. There's been a lot of tension between my mom and I regarding this. I've wanted a black ribbon since August. She wants pink or peach. We both agreed grosgrain was the way to go.

Well I just spied this on the Martha Stewart Weddings blog.

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Tulle (maybe organza) ribbon?? WHAT? Who thinks of that? Oh right, Vera Wang.

I'm loving every second of it and will absolutely have this. It looks like a pretty cinch-y DIY too.

get that man a suit

When we started discussing suiting for Mr. D, "investment" was a term thrown around a lot.  We both agreed it should be pretty classic, black, and tailored to perfection. We envisioned something so exquisitely crafted, it could be a tux substitute.

Well then we realized our budget was a little more conservative, that the wiggle room we built in for this kind of purchase got wiggled out for other vendors. So the new quest was to get something under $500.

We went to a Nordstrom suiting department just to get a lay of the suit land. We got really valuable and free advice: Mr. D should be wearing a smaller sized jacket. Hooray.

So last week I got the email from J.Crew: 20% off your entire purchase. Stirred to action, we started looking over the options at J.Crew. The cuts are classic, the wool is a nice quality, and the price with the discount was something I could deal with. Mr. D ultimately opted for the Ludlow in black.. and it arrived today!

(Please disregard his shirt and tie - I made him put the suit on when he got home from work, poor guy couldn't even put on a real shirt)

It still needs to be tailored and he will perhaps tie his shoes on the wedding. Picture it with french cuffs and a satin black tie. Total snazz.

Did you opt to buy a suit or do you have other plans?

giant pink flower = always great

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What a gorgeous reception hair piece from ban.do - a little steep in the price area, but the flowers are vintage! I suddenly have the urge to run out and buy a bunch of hot pink organza.

the mighty dress search, part 4

Part 1
Part 2
Part 3

The tally on dresses that were just beyond, in the immortal words of Rachel Zoe? 2.

I wasn't ready to give up still. I had the J.Crew and it was fine. But I knew there was a whole world made of tulle out there and I just needed to find its discount aisle.

Again, bless the blogs. I was just doing my normal reading when Miss Perfume of Weddingbee mentioned one of her sample dress sources: Bridepower.com

I combed the entire site for the Two, but they weren't there. After reading a description of another Vera though, there was hope: it was from the Vera Wang store in Chevy Chase, i.e., where I found the marvel of perfect poof. I signed up for the email notifications and then largely forgot about it.

A few weeks later an email appeared. New Designer Styles, it said. I looked around the office for hoverers (we don't have cubes, shudder), and followed the link. I clicked over to the Vera Wang section and scrolled down ever so slightly... what is this? MY dress?

And the price! A MERE $300 more than the agreed-upon dress budget (and nearly 1,000 cheaper than the store)?

I frantically called my mom. She needed to think. I went home absolutely delighted/ecstatic. The next morning she said it was obvious, as long as I agreed to pay the difference. I returned the J.Crew dress that weekend.



Unfortunately I have no pictures of me wearing it - when I visited my parents last month, I didn't think to take a picture, which saddens me. Boo.

Did you go to great lengths to find the one?

the mighty dress search, part 3

Part 1
Part 2

So there I was, owner of a J.Crew wedding gown I didn't love. At some point during this saga, my parents visited DC. But first, let me come clean:

I went to Vera Wang a few weeks after Saks. I asked to see their sample gowns and said my budget was $3,000 (fearing I wouldn't be shown anything for less than that). Amazingly enough, dresses existed in that range, albeit a range I couldn't realistically afford.

So I tried on these two dresses.

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Obviously we can conclude which one I was smitten with. It was $2700. A little bit too much.

Thus when my parents were visiting to look at cherry blossoms, I dragged my mom over to the store. She agreed it was perfect and there was a brief time, maybe 30 minutes or so, where we all seriously considered purchasing it. But then we all started thinking rationally again and that was that. They left and I was Vera-less but not dress-less.

Did you have second thoughts about the dress you bought?

the mighty dress search, part 2

Part 1

No, of course I wasn't getting my dress that easily.

The seller became slow to reply and eventually admitted she wanted to keep the dress. I was heartbroken. But determined to find THE dress and completely bitten by the designer bug, I looked at my options.

Preownedweddingdresses.com

This became my addiction. Everyday I'd check under Vera Wang, Carolina Herrera, and Oscar de la Renta for new gowns.

Oncewed.com

Another site with used gowns, I'd check it weekly.

A month or so passed of obsessively checking these sites and I needed even more options. I was opening up the field to vintage. Vintageous became another mainstay of my browsing at work, except the really fab dresses sold out lickety-split.

I was getting antsy. Nothing was crying out to me. So I considered the old standby: J. Crew.

Enter Fontaine. I think the style has been discontinued at this point, but I saw potential. With some great accessories and perhaps a monster head piece, this could be chic.

I went to the nearest J.Crew and asked about ordering it. They said they would have it shipped to the store so I could try it on and see if I liked it (no charge). Wow. That's some amazing customer service.

After about a week the dress was at the store. They called me and I went to try it on. It wasn't an OMG LOVE moment, but I kept rationalizing to myself how I could make it work. And the price was within my ideal budget of 1500. So I bought it.

o hai old studio apartment

Perhaps not the best decision.

the mighty dress search, part 1

The first store I went to on my magical dress journey was Saks. I heard they were getting rid of the wedding departments at most of their stores, so I lunged at the chance for a sample designer gown. The DC area store was already sold out, so we ventured down to Richmond, VA.

I was allowed to pull whatever I wanted from the racks. All of the gowns were in bags so it was hell figuring out what was what and I will admit, I was looking for big name designers. I ended up with an Amsale, Carolina Herrera and who knows what else in my dressing room.

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The Amsale was pretty but it didn't spark much in me. The Herrera I found by chance -- it actually looked a little scary in the bag, but I noticed the grosgrain ribbons and decided to give it a chance.

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Oh. My. Lordy. It was ballgown-tastic. There is something about a giant Scarlet O'Hara skirt that just makes me die. I wanted the dress and I wanted it bad. However, once I found out the price my mood quickly changed to despair. It was a sample gown; it wasn't in perfect condition and it was still $3,000? Spending a fifth of the wedding budget made me nauseous.

I lamented on the Weddingbee boards. I was looking for validation, a "it's okay to spend that much on an imperfect but beautiful Herrera gown!" Instead I got a lead. A sleuthy Weddingbee reader had found the SAME dress listed on Craigslist. Apparently it had been bought at a Neiman sale and the seller wanted $1,000. WHAT.

I emailed the seller immediately. I started researching safe ways to make that sort of transaction. The girl sent me pictures of the dress and it looked flawless. Was this really happening? Was I getting the dress this easily, on basically my first try?

oh, dresses

Before I start the magical series of dress posts, I must say, I have my dress.

Yes, indeed. It's currently living in my parents' guest room. In a box. A very big box.

So while I may write longingly about a particular dream dress, I have mine and there's a very happy ending. So do not fear!

Anyhow, I had started saving images of dresses before I was engaged. I was that person.

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I wanted tulle. A hot tulle mess. It's romantic, ethereal, and girly and such a flipping throw back, I had to have it.

However, tulle is not very "in" these days. Mermaid and trumpet gowns are about all you can find at bridal stores. And if they have a tulle skirt, it's covered in rhinestones and beads, straight out of a Bedazzler sweatshop. I wanted simple. 

Oh, silly silly me.

Did you have a certain expectation for your wedding dress that made things a teense difficult?