Tuesday, January 12, 2010

my first faux pas

I apparently committed an etiquette faux pas. I called my mom (yes of course this story includes my mom) today and she says, "Aunt So and So got your save the date today. She didn't really know what it was. But she told me you didn't include their last name on the envelope."

That was true. I didn't. Somewhere on the fine internet I saw a save the date envelope with first names only and thought, oh cute, a nice informal way to do these. Well my mom is now appalled that I don't know how to address envelopes and that I will surely offend all of our guests. Um? Seriously?

First, I don't get how this is an etiquette thing. I understand the logical reason to include last names: to insure that the postal service delivers the envelope, especially if I mess up the address. However, if the envelope did get lost, no one could possibly get offended because they'd never receive the envelope to offend them in the first place. Secondly, if I have a personal relationship with someone, I kind of don't get how using a first name on an envelope is offensive. For people I don't have a relationship with, I used the last name because I was uncomfortable - we're not on a first name kind of basis, you know?

So my mom is pissed at me because I didn't use last names. Have you committed any grievous etiquette sins?


  1. Ugh I hear you!!! We sent our engagement party invites after Thanksgiving and his Aunt was pissed that we didn't include her on again off again ex-boyfriend. Every other week they are at each others throats that if we were to send it with his name and they were fighting that week she would be pissed still. Damned if you do..damned if you don't!

  2. Our engagement party was on Saturday, and I still haven't written the damned thank you notes.