the not bachelor

(source) 

I'm putting this out for the world: I'm uncomfortable with the concept of bachelor parties.

The tendency toward debauchery as a final send-off before marriage signals one thing to me: that marriage is a dead-end for sex and fun. If someone has to "live it up" before he gets married, why the f is he getting married?

Here's a particularly salient quote from theplunge.com on the bachelor party:

"Nothing says, 'I'm looking forward to my new life of monogamy!' like having a toned, naked, purring woman grind against your crotch."

Indeed! I know the knee-jerk reaction here is "you're obviously insecure and have trust issues." No, I don't actually think the majority of soon-to-be-married men cheat at their bachelor parties. That's not the deal here. It's the message of "I must get really drunk and look at many different types of boobs right before I get married," that bothers me.

Let's face it: my fiance hasn't been a "free man" in years. The last hoorah? That train left the station way before he proposed.

We're living in an age where marriage is a choice, not a foregone economic conclusion. We're not paired off because we have more dowry, have a better family, or can simply work a plow. We choose who we marry because of intangible reasons. In doing this we're saying I choose you over all other possibilities -- which is amazing. But for me, that also means the concept of a naked women-filled send-off is bogus: no one is marching these men to a marriage they don't want.

I'm not against the male bonding and "man" activities. The adventure variety of bachelor parties where they camp and hike and drink are pretty cool. I'm just over the idea that a man can only get married if he licks whipped cream off of a stripper's fake boobs.

I know I don't seem forward-thinking, that I probably sound repressed, and I must be a huge nag. My fiance hasn't even expressed an interest in strippers. I just wanted to stand up for everyone a little or a lot uncomfortable with the traditional stripper-tastic bachelor party.

So where do you stand on bachelor parties?