embracing the semi-polish

I am half Polish. I grew up thinking my family embraced our Polish heritage because we ate sausage and did polkas at weddings. It took me quite a while and seeing how other people celebrate their own culture and customs to realize that my family was quite lazy at being Polish.

My parents at their quasi-Polish wedding almost 35 years ago

My great grandparents emigrated from Poland during a time where it wasn't so hot to be Polish. In fact, I think it was quite awful because my grandpa changed his family name, removing the -kowski, in order to Americanize himself and fit in. Diversity wasn't valued back then and I think that was a major reason my grandparents never taught me much about my heritage. I don't know any Polish words, I don't know how to cook Polish foods, and I definitely have no clue where my family came from.

But us Midwestern Polish descendants, maybe even specifically Northwest Indiana Poles, have one wedding custom that I do know about: the everyone get in a circle around the couple and sing "Let Me Call You Sweetheart" while also randomly shouting "she's still ours!" in Polish. What, that's not a thing? Well it is in my family.

You see, I've looked everyone on the internet for some indication this was a wedding tradition. Apparently the "Let Me Call You Sweetheart" serenade is usually reserved for sorority/frat sweethearts? Or something. I never went greek so I do not understand these things.

As for the shouting in Polish part, it seems to have roots in a Midwestern Polish custom where the father says the phrase "Jescze nasza" and all of the men at the wedding form a circle around the bride and exchange dances, for a small fee.

So it seems my family mushed together some things and came up with the Let Me Call You/Jescze Nasza. Now all I have to do is try to explain this to my DJ.

While I'm sad I've missed out on a lot of Polish heritage, I will say one thing: I am so glad I don't have to do the babydoll apron. If you're trying to picture it and getting confused, no, you are in fact doing it right. It's precisely an apron that has plastic babydolls stapled to it. Not all Polish traditions need to be embraced!

What cultural traditions are you adopting, eschewing or reinventing?

last minute projects

I am the queen of procrastination when it comes to DIY projects and I have proof.

Exhibit A: My cake topper.

Exhibit B: The giftbox. Confession: semi-DIY. I asked a salesgirl at the Kate Spade store if I could have a large gift box and she obliged.

Exhibit C: The menus. They are not kitty-proof.

Exhibit D: Table numbers.

Exhibit E: Tags for the whoopie pie favors.

Exhibit F: Door tags for the the ceremony and the reception entrances. The IMU is large and confusing. The poodles are a long story.

So that's what I've been up to. How do you cope with deadlines?

ra-ra-shish-koom-ba

School spirit, yes we do, or something along those lines.

Kirk and I are both IU grads. Since we're getting married on campus, it feels prudent, nay necessary, to tip our proverbial hats to our alma mater. I just don't know when or how!

There are three school songs: two fight songs and "Hail to Old IU," the song that makes me cry my eyes out for the glory days of Mother Bears pizza and Ballantine Hall.



My original idea was to have a mini pep rally at some point after the ceremony, since many of the guests are IU grads too. My problem of course is timing. Is this best suited for cocktail hour (we'll be able to make the second half of it) or some point during the reception? Should the DJ play a recording or should I conspire with the IU grads to burst out with an a cappella version? Opinions are requested on when and how!

rings

I've been hush hush about rings since my slight meltdown over the Dior ring. I mourned it and moved on with a little help from a small jeweler out of Philly, Bario-Neal.

They use recycled metals in their rings, have pretty affordable prices, and Kirk and I could get matching rings. Yay.  I ended up with the Milla thin band in white gold and Kirk got the Milla round. Best of all, Bario-Neal shipped the rings in adorable glass bottles!

The rings took about six weeks to arrive and we definitely cut it close (they came yesterday!), but the rings are gorgeous. Happily, both rings combined cost less than the Dior ring.

Which of your wedding disappointments had a silver lining?

after the wedding resolutions

I've started an impromptu list, not of DIY projects or wedding day time lines, but things I want to do after the wedding. Part of it is to cope with post-wedding planning blues, but mostly I want a life again.

So I present to you the highlights of my "After the Wedding Resolutions."

1. Start getting weekly polish changes and monthly pedicures. Totally selfish and wonderful.
2. See plays, musicals, and ballets more. We went to only one this past year. Fail.
3. Take dance classes.
4. Every other weekend, do a museum or otherwise historic thing in or around DC. I've lived here for 2 years and still haven't done everything. That must change.
5. Buy records.
6. Volunteer.
7. Get a Sunday newspaper subscription.
8. Reinstate date night. Date night has disappeared for us. It's morphed into Kirk watching Dr. Who while I work on the computer/cut stuff out/glue crap/etc and half watch the vampiric fish people. I want to go to movies again, eat popcorn and Sour Patch Kids, hold hands, nuzzle on the way out, argue about the movie, get ice cream, and then metro home in that blissed out hazy state of being too full of sodium and sugar.
9. Re-watch BSG from beginning to end again. I am a nerd.
10. Read again. I've been reading exclusively issues of Poetry, mostly because they're a handy size for the bathroom... 

What's on your "after the wedding" list?

get yer programs

The fun/tedious part of planning is the evolution of ideas. At one point I thought I had a clear idea for a ceremony program and then I fell victim to second-guessing. The cover was changed, more information was added, and did I mention I only got these printed today? Oh yes that happened.

I had these printed on text weight paper, i.e. crap. I had big ideas about tying them with a black grosgrain ribbon, yadda yadda, but that felt silly when it was basically photo copier paper. Instead, I busted out the twine.

The lesson here is if you're smarter than me, you print the cover page with a light cardstock and then the interior pages with text weight paper. It gives the programs a lot more heft. Learn from my mistakes.

Did you reinvent the program wheel or stick to the basics?

man flowers

I have a certain fear.

[image source]

All of the flowers are going to be roses and peonies. So while for the most part that means a ton of fluffy goodness, it can also be concerning. For evidence, see above. 

My beef with rose bouts is this: they remind me of high school dances, where every single date of mine had the same tight rosebud bout. I also don't love how far it sits away from the lapel. I'd like to avoid this. 

[source]

Those aren't roses, they're dahlias, but they sure are awesome. Note how the flowers lay flat across the lapel and while they're large, they're a quirky large, not "I'm a giant bud" large. 

Another convincing argument:

[source]

So I think at this point, a rose is not the ideal flower bout for me. But peonies are a little delicate and I assume they would not hold up as a bout either. Do you have any last minute suggestions for a flower available in June that'd be flat and big and lovely?